- “You have done this before, you don’t need a doula”
- “I can help you, and I am free”
- “What do they even help with?”
- “So you’re going to just have some random person in the room while you deliver?”
These are all things I have heard or clients have heard when expressing to family and friends that they want to hire a doula. So lets talk about these comments.
“You have done this before, you don’t need a doula” This breaks my heart to hear because even if you successfully gave birth, that does not mean it was a pleasant experience. Birth trauma is real. Even if you did not experience birth trauma, you may have felt out of control, or lost, and just want someone there with the correct mindset and knowledge, to support you and help you feel secure in such a vulnerable time.
“I can help you, and I am FREE” I love this. Your friends and family love you so much that they are offering to be there for you and support you! The issue then becomes, sometimes, that person may not be someone you want in the delivery room OR they become so engulfed with everything happening that they have a hard time separating themselves from what is going on, to be that rock and support person you need. (Yes, sometimes this means dads too.) I have also unfortunately seen first hand, that the ones offering to do this usually disappear after baby is born. A doula can, and most times have packages that include, coming home after baby is here to help with housework, or give you a break to nap or shower or for heavens sake go get your nails done or a massage, because self care is so so SO important for new moms.
“What do they even help with?” This is my favorite because I could talk about the joys and benefits of being a doula ALL. DAY. LONG. Seriously ask Sami of Little Beginnings Doula Service. We met for coffee and ended up staying for almost two hours talking about all things doula! If you would like more information about specific things we offer and statistics, please check out this page!
“So you’re going to just have some random person in the room while you deliver?” In short, YES! The long version is that we build a report and more often then not, a friendship, to where you can be open and honest and expect the same in return from the doula. This is also why it is SO important to interview doulas and hire the one you mesh with most!
I hope the next time you hear someone say they hired a doula, you applaud them for taking the step and acknowledging that they are worth it. Birth and postpartum support from doulas should be the norm, not the exception.
Much love, Allison.